Genesis

Customers often ask us where our love affair with Caribbean
food began, given that our appearance does not fit in with
most people's idea of how purveyors of Caribbean Cuisine
should appear. In our time we have spread many amusing and
romantic anecdotes about how it all started but the truth is
neither amusing nor romantic but rather dark and unsavory.

I first laid my sorry eyes on Zac in the kitchens of Brixton
Prison where he was Head Chef, serving out a Three year
term for Polygamy ( Three Eastern Europeans, one Asian
Ladyboy and ,unfortunately for him, one lady member of
Her Majesty's Constabulary.)
I was doing a "Five " for Aggravated Food Poisoning
( Purely a Technicality ) and was promptly put to work,
quite ironically I felt, in the Prison Kitchen.
I probably should explain myself here and what happened was
that this was England during the last big Recession in the
Eighties. My then Girlfriend decided to take another Woman
as a lover and although I had no problem with this, I did
have a little problem with not being permitted any kind
of participation in their fun or even a chance to
watch their frolics ( I even offered to let them tie me to
a chair if they let me watch ).
One Morning in a fit of Pique following a particularly
noisy and boisterous bout of lovemaking from the next
Bedroom, I doctered their Breakfast with a cocktail of
Extasy,Viagra and Anti-Depressants and headed off to the
Cheltenham Races for a few days. What happened next made
all the sordid little Sunday Red-tops and became the
basis for a late night Channel 4 Drama as well.
Didn't a nosy oul' Bitch of a neighbour get concerned
when she couldn't raise an answer on complaining about
the noise from the T.V. and called the Police. On breaking
down the door, the two ladies were discovered, semi-comatose,
in a numerical love position ( you know the one that's less
than Seventy and more than Sixty eight ).Well the excrement
hit the fan and when the ladies in question failed to
explain the presence of the aforementioned Chemicals in
their systems, the finger was quickly pointed at yours
truly. I was released on appeal after three months when
my then ex-girlfriend wrote to me in prison requesting my
recipe for the Love-Potion.

To be continued